Seasons of Life

Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

As I lay here and look out my bedroom window at the leaves clinging to the trees, I am reminded of the seasons we all experience in our lives, just as the natural world we see goes through seasons.

As I battled depression back in 2006-2010 I thought the darkness had swallowed me whole and I wasn't sure I would ever come out. I felt as if all hope was gone, nothing I did seemed to help me get out of this pit. It felt like the icy cold of winter when nothing seems to be alive.

Then with graciousness there came a time of thawing. New life began to emerge as Jesus began mending wounds inside of me that haunted all that I was. It was hard work, as birthing new life often is, but yet it was gorgeous to look around and see the budding that happens in springtime as well.

Summertime came where it felt like there was so much love and splendor and all seemed right. It was wonderful. Days of basking in the Light, growth all around. But as with all the seasons, even the ones that seem wonderful must end. Things begin to cool off and start going to sleep as they ready for the winter ahead.

There are the days of harvest. And when growth seems to be dying back. Leaves fall, plants go into hibernation. Then come the days of winter once more where there seems to be no life.

Somehow I believed that when I became a Christian at 11 that now life would all be good. Jesus was my personal Savior, but I grew up in a legalistic culture and soon following rules became the most important thing. Along with making sure others thought well of me. But then came the winter of depression. In this time I tried myself to pull myself up out of the pit. But I failed miserably. To this I am grateful. I would never have met Jesus once more in such a real and powerful way.

Another thing I've learned along the way is even when we follow Jesus closely we will still have seasons of winter. I'm not sure why I didn't think this would happen. Jesus tells His disciples, "In this world you will have trouble." How did I miss this for so long? How did I think now that Jesus was my Savior, I'd have it easy and I'd live happily ever after? Did you ever feel that way, that life should be easy because you are a Believer?

What I've been learning as I've traveled through these distinctly different seasons is to lean into the discomfort or the joy of the current season. To be fully present to what's happening is helpful to me. I used to try to shut my feelings down, become a robot. It didn't work so well! But I've learned how valuable they are and how much they help me if I pay attention and allow them to teach me.

What about you? Which season are you in right now?