Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
As I lay here and look out my bedroom window at the leaves clinging to the trees, I am reminded of the seasons we all experience in our lives, just as the natural world we see goes through seasons.
As I battled depression back in 2006-2010 I thought the darkness had swallowed me whole and I wasn't sure I would ever come out. I felt as if all hope was gone, nothing I did seemed to help me get out of this pit. It felt like the icy cold of winter when nothing seems to be alive.
Then with graciousness there came a time of thawing. New life began to emerge as Jesus began mending wounds inside of me that haunted all that I was. It was hard work, as birthing new life often is, but yet it was gorgeous to look around and see the budding that happens in springtime as well.
Summertime came where it felt like there was so much love and splendor and all seemed right. It was wonderful. Days of basking in the Light, growth all around. But as with all the seasons, even the ones that seem wonderful must end. Things begin to cool off and start going to sleep as they ready for the winter ahead.
There are the days of harvest. And when growth seems to be dying back. Leaves fall, plants go into hibernation. Then come the days of winter once more where there seems to be no life.
Somehow I believed that when I became a Christian at 11 that now life would all be good. Jesus was my personal Savior, but I grew up in a legalistic culture and soon following rules became the most important thing. Along with making sure others thought well of me. But then came the winter of depression. In this time I tried myself to pull myself up out of the pit. But I failed miserably. To this I am grateful. I would never have met Jesus once more in such a real and powerful way.
Another thing I've learned along the way is even when we follow Jesus closely we will still have seasons of winter. I'm not sure why I didn't think this would happen. Jesus tells His disciples, "In this world you will have trouble." How did I miss this for so long? How did I think now that Jesus was my Savior, I'd have it easy and I'd live happily ever after? Did you ever feel that way, that life should be easy because you are a Believer?
What I've been learning as I've traveled through these distinctly different seasons is to lean into the discomfort or the joy of the current season. To be fully present to what's happening is helpful to me. I used to try to shut my feelings down, become a robot. It didn't work so well! But I've learned how valuable they are and how much they help me if I pay attention and allow them to teach me.
What about you? Which season are you in right now?
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Holding it All Together
Lately the Lord has been working on me regarding the fact that I don't like to mess up. This past year brought some struggles to our family. I'd been working through the feelings and trying to stay present and truthful, but also not wound anyone in the process. The not wounding anyone started to take more and more precedence and so I was holding in more and more. It had become my idol. It became what was holding me back from what the Lord wants for us, freedom.
Last month the Lord began to show me a few things and to work on my heart in this area. He did this through an experiential I was leading, He used a paperclip to rock my world. I had asked the Lord what one thing did I need to let go of in working through this situation at home? He told me I needed to let go of control. BAM, it hit me right between the eyes, ouch. I've been working on letting go of control for YEARS and it was frustrating to hear that once more it was an issue. But I have experienced enough with the Lord to know there must be something here. He did show me through a visual that I have made progress, but it was still hard to hear once more. We were to pick up an item that we felt the Lord pointing us to and while there were several items to choose from, He led me to a paperclip. The Lord pointed out that paperclips hold things together and He gently told me I'd been holding things together for far too long. This resonated in my soul.
I asked the Lord what I was to do with this paperclip and I felt I was to open it up, straighten it. It occurred to me that the Lord usually doesn't take useful things and make them useless so I asked Him what this meant. I was reminded immediately of times when I open a paperclip to unlock the interior rooms in our home and also sometimes to get into the SIM card of my iPhone. And so the Lord did a shift in my heart where I realized I was no longer to hold it all together, I am now to be an unlocker.
As to messing up, no we don't want to purposefully or selfishly hurt others and damage them, however I love this quote from the book Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. "But I want to be around people who honestly fail me, not dishonestly deny that they have hurt me and have no intent to do better. That is destructive for me and for them. If people are owning their sin, they are learning through failure. We can ride that out. They want to be better, and forgiveness will help."
This is the person I want to be, someone who honestly fails others. Someone who owns it when I fail and talk it through with those I have failed. I am human and I will make mistakes. Mistakes aren't the worst thing to happen, in fact, they tend to be the best tools of learning, but that's another topic for another day!
If you are struggling in a situation right now, what is the one thing the Lord would ask you to let go of? You could ask Him to direct you to an object and ask Him in what way this object relates to what He's telling you. Then ask Him what to do with the object from here.
Last month the Lord began to show me a few things and to work on my heart in this area. He did this through an experiential I was leading, He used a paperclip to rock my world. I had asked the Lord what one thing did I need to let go of in working through this situation at home? He told me I needed to let go of control. BAM, it hit me right between the eyes, ouch. I've been working on letting go of control for YEARS and it was frustrating to hear that once more it was an issue. But I have experienced enough with the Lord to know there must be something here. He did show me through a visual that I have made progress, but it was still hard to hear once more. We were to pick up an item that we felt the Lord pointing us to and while there were several items to choose from, He led me to a paperclip. The Lord pointed out that paperclips hold things together and He gently told me I'd been holding things together for far too long. This resonated in my soul.
I asked the Lord what I was to do with this paperclip and I felt I was to open it up, straighten it. It occurred to me that the Lord usually doesn't take useful things and make them useless so I asked Him what this meant. I was reminded immediately of times when I open a paperclip to unlock the interior rooms in our home and also sometimes to get into the SIM card of my iPhone. And so the Lord did a shift in my heart where I realized I was no longer to hold it all together, I am now to be an unlocker.
As to messing up, no we don't want to purposefully or selfishly hurt others and damage them, however I love this quote from the book Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. "But I want to be around people who honestly fail me, not dishonestly deny that they have hurt me and have no intent to do better. That is destructive for me and for them. If people are owning their sin, they are learning through failure. We can ride that out. They want to be better, and forgiveness will help."
This is the person I want to be, someone who honestly fails others. Someone who owns it when I fail and talk it through with those I have failed. I am human and I will make mistakes. Mistakes aren't the worst thing to happen, in fact, they tend to be the best tools of learning, but that's another topic for another day!
If you are struggling in a situation right now, what is the one thing the Lord would ask you to let go of? You could ask Him to direct you to an object and ask Him in what way this object relates to what He's telling you. Then ask Him what to do with the object from here.
Friday, January 12, 2018
Faith vs Works
Were entirely ready to have God remove all of these defects of character. - Step 6 of the Twelve Steps
I’m slowly reading through Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr. When I began reading this chapter it reminded me of the debate I’ve often heard in the church which is Faith vs Works. Which is most important? According to Richard Rohr, it’s not one, it’s both. And I would agree form the experiences I’ve had. It takes work and courage to be able to face those parts of yourself you would rather hide away. At the same time when you find it and face it, it takes Faith and courage to step back, letting go of control and allowing the Lord to touch that place in ways that only He can. Sometimes He heals those places as we visit wounds and other times He meets me there in my lacking. The question is can I trust Him enough to let Him choose whether I am healed miraculously or met in my deepest need each time I need it?
This is a subject I’ve also heard Terry Wardle speak of a few different times. A Scripture he has quoted us Hebrews 4:11 “Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.” Note that choice in words. Make every effort. Sounds like doing something, but then you enter rest, which is not doing but being.
To me this means there are things I can do to enter into the Lord's presence, but once I'm in the Lord's Presence it is up to Him to do the rest. It's up to Him if in that time of resting He heals me.or He meets me in my weakness and vulnerability.
For me I read my Bible, I meditate on the Lord, I pray, and do many different Spiritual Practices because when I've been there the Lord has shown up in powerful ways. While these are great practices to have, they aren't the goal. These practices are only the doorway to entering God's Presence. I'd think you'd agree with me when you walk through the doorway to your house, it has little to do with what you find in there it's not the substance of why you came in, it is only the entry way. The same way with not holding the practices up on a pedestal. These practices are the entryway to meet God and not the ending point.
If we circle back to the beginning of this post where I quote the 6th step from AA and Falling Upwards, where we are ready for God to remove the defects we notice that while these doorways may be great ways to meet the Lord, the healing, removing these defects, comes only from God doing what only He can do. That's when true transformation happens, not just a temporary change. Transformation changes the trajectory of your life. It's nothing that you have done and you don't take the credit for it and neither can any of the doorposts, it's all God! He touched you and it's miraculous.
Have you had any experiences where you entered into a doorway to be touched by Jesus? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below!
I’m slowly reading through Breathing Under Water by Richard Rohr. When I began reading this chapter it reminded me of the debate I’ve often heard in the church which is Faith vs Works. Which is most important? According to Richard Rohr, it’s not one, it’s both. And I would agree form the experiences I’ve had. It takes work and courage to be able to face those parts of yourself you would rather hide away. At the same time when you find it and face it, it takes Faith and courage to step back, letting go of control and allowing the Lord to touch that place in ways that only He can. Sometimes He heals those places as we visit wounds and other times He meets me there in my lacking. The question is can I trust Him enough to let Him choose whether I am healed miraculously or met in my deepest need each time I need it?
This is a subject I’ve also heard Terry Wardle speak of a few different times. A Scripture he has quoted us Hebrews 4:11 “Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.” Note that choice in words. Make every effort. Sounds like doing something, but then you enter rest, which is not doing but being.
To me this means there are things I can do to enter into the Lord's presence, but once I'm in the Lord's Presence it is up to Him to do the rest. It's up to Him if in that time of resting He heals me.or He meets me in my weakness and vulnerability.
For me I read my Bible, I meditate on the Lord, I pray, and do many different Spiritual Practices because when I've been there the Lord has shown up in powerful ways. While these are great practices to have, they aren't the goal. These practices are only the doorway to entering God's Presence. I'd think you'd agree with me when you walk through the doorway to your house, it has little to do with what you find in there it's not the substance of why you came in, it is only the entry way. The same way with not holding the practices up on a pedestal. These practices are the entryway to meet God and not the ending point.
If we circle back to the beginning of this post where I quote the 6th step from AA and Falling Upwards, where we are ready for God to remove the defects we notice that while these doorways may be great ways to meet the Lord, the healing, removing these defects, comes only from God doing what only He can do. That's when true transformation happens, not just a temporary change. Transformation changes the trajectory of your life. It's nothing that you have done and you don't take the credit for it and neither can any of the doorposts, it's all God! He touched you and it's miraculous.
Have you had any experiences where you entered into a doorway to be touched by Jesus? I'd love to hear about it in the comments below!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)