Holding it All Together

Lately the Lord has been working on me regarding the fact that I don't like to mess up. This past year brought some struggles to our family. I'd been working through the feelings and trying to stay present and truthful, but also not wound anyone in the process. The not wounding anyone started to take more and more precedence and so I was holding in more and more. It had become my idol. It became what was holding me back from what the Lord wants for us, freedom.

Last month the Lord began to show me a few things and to work on my heart in this area. He did this through an experiential I was leading, He used a paperclip to rock my world. I had asked the Lord what one thing did I need to let go of in working through this situation at home? He told me I needed to let go of control. BAM, it hit me right between the eyes, ouch. I've been working on letting go of control for YEARS and it was frustrating to hear that once more it was an issue. But I have experienced enough with the Lord to know there must be something here. He did show me through a visual that I have made progress, but it was still hard to hear once more. We were to pick up an item that we felt the Lord pointing us to and while there were several items to choose from, He led me to a paperclip. The Lord pointed out that paperclips hold things together and He gently told me I'd been holding things together for far too long. This resonated in my soul.

I asked the Lord what I was to do with this paperclip and I felt I was to open it up, straighten it. It occurred to me that the Lord usually doesn't take useful things and make them useless so I asked Him what this meant. I was reminded immediately of times when I open a paperclip to unlock the interior rooms in our home and also sometimes to get into the SIM card of my iPhone. And so the Lord did a shift in my heart where I realized I was no longer to hold it all together, I am now to be an unlocker.

As to messing up, no we don't want to purposefully or selfishly hurt others and damage them, however I love this quote from the book Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. "But I want to be around people who honestly fail me, not dishonestly deny that they have hurt me and have no intent to do better.  That is destructive for me and for them.  If people are owning their sin, they are learning through failure.  We can ride that out.  They want to be better, and forgiveness will help."

This is the person I want to be, someone who honestly fails others. Someone who owns it when I fail and talk it through with those I have failed. I am human and I will make mistakes. Mistakes aren't the worst thing to happen, in fact, they tend to be the best tools of learning, but that's another topic for another day!

If you are struggling in a situation right now, what is the one thing the Lord would ask you to let go of? You could ask Him to direct you to an object and ask Him in what way this object relates to what He's telling you. Then ask Him what to do with the object from here.