Monday, March 12, 2018

Fledging Your Children Well - An Interview and Giveaway!

Recently Brenda Yoder asked if I would be part of a group of women to read through her new book, Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind. I quickly said yes, as this book is about launching your kids and we are entering this phase in life. I appreciated Brenda's honesty about her own journey. And the acknowledgement of how we often think that if we have instilled the values of God into our children, that we will sail through this stage of life with our children. However, it's not always that easy, as our children are looking and deciding if the values we have in our lives are ones they believe, no longer just taking our word for it.

I loved the encouragement and how I felt knowing I wasn't the only one wrestling through grief of loss, but also struggling through the feelings of realizing this child is becoming an adult whom I butt heads with. It was great to know I'm not the only one wrestling through a whole gamut of emotions. I want to walk through this season in a way that honors both my child and myself. It is a delicate balance at times and I felt Brenda got this as well.

Brenda has graciously give me the opportunity to bless one of you with this book. To win this book there will be several opportunities to have your name entered into the drawing.

1. Comment below on which part of 'fledging' your children that you are in. Please let me know what's your favorite part and what's been hardest.

2. Share this post of facebook. Comment below to let me know you've done so.

3. Follow this blog. Comment below to let me know you've done so.

Good luck to you all. I hope the Lord speaks to you through the interview with Brenda that follows. All entries accepted until 12:00 pm on March 16, 2018.

Lori: Could you talk about why you decided to name the book Fledge?

Brenda: The team at Herald Press came up with the term and I believe it was God’s perfect plan.
My original proposal was “Raising to Release” and we went through several
suggestions before they came up with Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing
Your Minds.” Both terms of fledge continued to shape the book from the original
manuscript because it reflects this process so beautifully:

           • (of a young bird) to develop wing feathers that are large enough for flight
           • to provide and an arrow with feathers.

I especially love how Psalm 127 is the center for the book and fledge specifically
addresses putting feathers on an arrow, which is the image God uses of parents
releasing their children!

Lori: Do you mind sharing why you wrote Fledge for those that might not know?

Brenda: Herald Press approached me about writing a parenting book and I proposed the idea of
a parenting book for this stage of life—when you’re releasing your children and yet still
parenting younger children. I found myself struggling in this stage after the first two of
my four children went to college. We weren’t empty nesters yet our nest was emptying.
There were so many emotions and challenges during this season parenting both young
adults, teens, and younger children. I found there weren’t any resources addressing
these needs. So, I guess I wrote the book on it—literally!

Lori: What has been the hardest part of fledging your own children?

Brenda: The grief over the season of child rearing coming to the end. I love parenting and I love
children. I don’t love the hard parts of parenting, but I truly love pouring Jesus into kids.
The second hardest is not being able to see my oldest child very often. My only
daughter is a full time missionary with Back2Back ministries and I simply miss not being
able to see her.

Lori: What's been the most joyous part of fledging your children?

Brenda: The most joyous part has been seeing each of my kids choose Christ at this point in
their lives, though with some it’s been a hard journey. I love seeing each of the kids
grow into the person God is developing them to be and seeing them get excited about
their passions. It’s also humbling when they tell you they understand why you’ve taught
them different things or when they say thank you for things they never said thank you
for when they were teenagers.

Lori: You talk in the book about doing this season well. I love this quote, “But inside, I say,
Wait! I don’t want to be consoled about how great life is going to be! This is where I’m
at. I don’t want anyone to take away one minute of my family life now.” This is so
important to stay in the now and not keep looking forward to the future and longing for
the past. So how do you help women to work through that grief of the now to fully be
present in it so you can enjoy the family of now?

Brenda: One way I help women is by identifying the different types of grief in the first chapter on
Mom grief. Many times we think we’re emotional just because we’re missing our kids
but there are various types of losses a mom can experience at this time in her life.
Identifying each one helps women acknowledge which one they might be experiencing.
That process helps them grieve them individually but also helps them know how to most
past each component.

I also try to help women know it’s okay to feel these feelings. Many times, people in the
stage ahead, the empty nest or grandparent stage, say, “Oh, it gets better!” That
response minimizes or puts a value judgment on what parents are feeling now.
Validation of feelings can be powerful, encouraging, and healing.

There’s a chapter on “don’t miss this life.” I help moms to enjoy their children right now
because this stage really does go fast! Most of our parent years we’re always
anticipating the next stage. In the releasing stage, it’s the last stop on the childhood
train. So, we need to enjoy it and our kids while they’re here!

More about Fledge:
To find out more about everything related to letting go and the fledging stage of parenting,
get Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind. It’s available online and at major
retailers. Join Brenda on Facebook for our upcoming Fledge Parenting Forum, on Instagram,
Twitter, and at brendayoder.com.

More about Brenda:

Brenda Yoder is a national speaker, author, Licensed Mental Health
Counselor, and life coach whose passion is encouraging others when life
doesn’t fit the storybook image. Authentic and humorous, Brenda
connects with women and moms in a way that will have you laughing
and crying all at the same time.

Her new book,Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind is a personal handbook for parents in the season of raising and releasing
kids. Brenda’s been featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul books: Reboot
Your Life and Confident and Curvy; the Washington Post, and For Every
Mom. Her first book for busy moms, Balance, Busyness, and Not Doing
It All released in 2015.

Brenda is also former teacher and school counselor and was twice
awarded the Touchstone Award for teachers. Her ministry, Life Beyond
the Picket Fence, is found at brendayoder.com where she writes about
faith, life, and family beyond the storybook image. Brenda is a wife and
mom of four children, ranging from teens to adults, and lives on a farm
in Indiana. You can connect with Brenda on Twitter, Facebook,
Pinterest, and Instagram. Join her Facebook page to follow the new
Fledge Parent Forum for moms releasing their kids.

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